You’ve been on a few dates.
But it’s confusing.
Yes, they are still there; but things don’t develop naturally.
Now you’re asking yourself: what’s going on? Do you like me or not? Is this pairing promising?
If things are very murky, you could be tangled up with a serial date.
Addicted to the thrill of the chase, streak dates are great for the early stages of getting to know someone — but that’s about it.
Today we’re unpacking serial dating and the warning signs that go with it.
What is a serial dater?
Before we delve into the signs of a serial dater — (formerly known as a gambler, dog, lady man, or lady lady) — let’s unpack what they are and how they work.
Men, women, and non-binary people all have the potential to be serial dates. No gender fits the profile better.
Additionally, there’s a fine line between someone who casually dates because they’re young and have wild oats to sow and a serial dater.
The main difference between the two is honesty.
The former will be open and honest about their intentions; The latter is much more dodgy about the situation.
So what are the general characteristics of a serial dater? You:
Go on an absurd number of dates, sometimes several in a single day. Love the hunt but not what comes after. Enjoy the process of getting to know someone but not great at maintaining relationships Almost always end things with ghosting rather than being mature and open
Psychologist Paulette Sherman, author of Dating From the Inside Out, explains that serial dates typically “love the chase but don’t commit.”
She goes on to explain that they are “addicted to the romance of early dating, but they get bored easily and move on.”
Is It Okay To Be A Serial Dating?
Is this type of dating bad? On the whole, there’s a lot worse.
It’s not the healthiest behavior, however, and if you’re not careful, you could end up hurting a lot of other people.
Practically speaking, this type of dating has its positive sides. In fact, many therapists advise clients to have a lot of fun after a big breakup to get their “dating legs” back.
People involved in practice:
Learn to be charming and sociable on a date. Meet lots of new people, some of whom could be very interesting. Develop impressive review skills
All in all, a lot of serial dates are thoughtless and egocentric to a pathological degree—which aren’t great traits.
As with many things in life, there’s a serial dating spectrum.
A little casual dating at appropriate times on your journey isn’t bad.
It’s no good getting stuck in a destructive loop of making it increasingly difficult to connect with people beyond the surface.
13 characters of serial date
We looked at the definition of a serial date and whether or not it’s acceptable. Now let’s dive into some serial date characters.
1. You have a history of short relationships
In many ways, serial dates are attachment phobes. They are not interested in getting serious and usually never have been. In their wake, they leave behind a series of brief, broken relationships.
dr Sherman explains, “They can be charming and lithe, but they’re only as fun as they are having fun. They have a history of shorter relationships and are usually the ones to end things.”
2. Wandering Eye on Dates
You are enjoying an evening together when your date suddenly starts flirting with someone else. Right in your face!
How obnoxious, isn’t it!? This behavior is not only crass but also a telltale sign that this person is a serial date who isn’t fit to be in a person at the moment.
3. You are always casual
We are not suggesting that all appointments have to be formal affairs. Not at all.
But if dates are always of the super casual variety, it can be a sign that your future boyfriend isn’t interested in taking anything to the next level. Also, be careful as plans are usually made on the same day.
They’ll call or text around lunchtime asking if you’re free later instead of making plans a few days in advance.
However, don’t confuse taking things slowly with being ultra-casual. If someone really likes you but wants to pump the breaks for one reason or another, they will still respect your time and not shy away from a nice evening.
4. They try to get physical quickly
Most of the series dates are in part for… well… the bedroom activity. Some are sex addicts, which in and of itself is a massive red flag. Others are going through a physical phase in their intimate lives.
When individuals are genuinely interested in someone, they typically don’t push physical activity on the first date, but a serial date does.
A kiss at the end of a first date is okay. Even normally. But when they start touching and talking about sex five minutes after hanging out,
5. They are very active on dating apps
Serial dates love to keep their options wide open. It’s her motto! As a result, they’re usually signed into every imaginable app. They cast a wide net and are not ashamed of it.
Notice when you glance at her phone and realize it’s a block of various dating apps. If they have any other characters on this list in addition to this list, it’s likely a serial date.
6. Check apps on the way home from data
Do you check dating apps on the way home from a good date? If you answered yes, then, dear reader, you may be going through a serial dating phase.
People guilty of this behavior shouldn’t hit themselves, especially if they’re younger or have had a major breakup. It’s okay to go through excessive dating periods. Just make sure to be honest with the people you meet.
7. Your dates are “meh”
They may be charming, but the dates always fall into the “meh.” Not every date has to be an extravagance, but if you go to Applebees every time. Single. time., you must be asking yourself, “why?”
When it comes to budget, ok. But even then, a day at the park that costs next to nothing would be a nice change. However, if they never bother for ideas, you probably have a serial date on your hands.
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8. The relationship does not develop
They’ve been meeting once a week for several weeks—or maybe even months. They hit it off, but the relationship seems to be stuck on hold.
The conversation never gets too deep, and you don’t get much more insight into each other than you did on the first date.
The lack of relationship development means you are in a casual situation with this type of date.
9. Go on dates more than trips with friends
This is another self-control serial dating sign, and it’s quite simple: Do you go on so many dates that you don’t spend much time with your friends and family anymore?
Putting strangers ahead of loved ones is a sign that your dating habits have gotten a little toxic, and it’s probably time to take some time off and think about who you’re dating and why.
10. They don’t open
Serial dates are not very interested in getting to know people deeply. They only want to be with attractive people who might be willing to have a little fun in the sack.
They also don’t care if you meet them, and that’s why they won’t tell you much about their life. They don’t “open” themselves.
If you’re on a date and meet someone they know, she might not even introduce you because you have little meaning in her life.
11. You are extremely outgoing
Is the person open-minded to the point of being ruthless? Do they have to be the showstopper?
Do you bask in the attention and sometimes forget you’re there? This type of person can also be a narcissist.
There’s nothing wrong with being outgoing and sociable. But when someone’s energy takes up all the energy in the room, their motivations are worth a second look.
12. Topics bore her easily
There are few things more demoralizing than looking across a table at someone who obviously finds you bored. Their eyes dart everywhere but you, and a palpable sense that they’d rather be anywhere hovers over every utterance.
They may interrupt you or roughly change the subject when you’re in the middle of a sentence.
13. Your dates are short
Are your dates always on the shorter side? A coffee here? A quick drink there? While people prefer this route for the first few dates, shorter dates evolve into longer ones as a relationship goes somewhere.
So if it’s been over a month and you’re still dating an hour here and there, you’re probably dealing with a player.
How do you deal with series data?
The first thing you need to know about serial dates is that you cannot change them. Like an addict, they must develop the will to change themselves. Could you be the person to flip her?
For sure. Why not. It is possible. But always go in with the attitude that it’s not likely.
That doesn’t mean you aren’t fabulous, beautiful, and all great. But if they’re treating you with serial dating behavior now, they probably won’t stop. When they meet “the ones” they usually don’t play the same games.
All in all, how should you deal with this kind of data stumbling into your life?
Be realistic: you can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change. Believe Them: When they tell you they are dating other people, believe them. Don’t twist your brain and think you can change the situation. Be more careful: Being too vulnerable with a serial data can lead to injury, so protect yourself. Focus on Similarities: If you know the deal but still want to convey that you’re interested in more than just casual dating, focus on things you have in common. Make appointments with other people: if they are around, do the same! Who knows, maybe you’ll find the right person that way. Be open and honest: let her know if you want more. If they don’t respond positively, move on. Play hard to get: Serial dates are people and react to hard to get tactics.
Serial dating is fine if you are in the market even occasionally and are not looking for anything serious. But if you want to be in a committed relationship, learning to identify and sort out streak dates early will save you a lot of valuable time and energy.