December 7, 2022

Filipino Guardian

Sentinels of Filipino Free Press

13 signs you like the idea of ​​him more than you like him

8 min read

He’s cute, well adjusted and to be honest your parents would love him.

But you’re stuck… undecided.

In some ways you like him, in others you don’t, and sometimes you wonder:

Do I really like him or just the imagination of him?

You may even feel guilty about the situation because you don’t want to incite him.

To help you form your opinion, today we’re exploring how to tell if you like someone or just the idea of ​​them, and what to do if it’s the latter.

What does it mean to like someone’s idea?

The idea of ​​liking someone can mean a few different things.

Sometimes the term is used when we’re dating someone we’re not that into because we’re lonely or trying to emulate a marketed “ideal.”

It’s also used to describe relationships in which one partner likes the other’s status, wealth, or power—but that’s about it.

Loving the idea of ​​someone doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t like them or that you find them pleasant, funny, or smart.

But chances are, when you’re with them, you won’t experience the following:

Butterflies: If your Stomach Dweller isn’t cartwheeling, he’s probably in the “friend zone.” Dreamy Thinking: You don’t have flimsy, romantic dreams or thoughts about him. Lust: Your body temperature doesn’t rise an iota when he’s around. Deep Care and Concern: Let’s put it this way, if his grandmother died, he would feel sorry for him, but you wouldn’t offer to come to the funeral.

13 signs you like the idea of ​​him more than you like him

Do I like him or the attention? Ultimately, that’s the question you need to answer.

1. He doesn’t make your heart beat faster

Our bodies let us know when we really like someone. We get nervous around them, blush and act like complete fools because they make us so incredibly dizzy.

We also try to look better for those we find attractive.

So if your body is “quiet,” there’s no spark on your side, and you never feel the need to look good around them, then you’re probably more into the idea of ​​them.

2. You don’t think about him much

Something extraordinary is happening at work and you don’t think to tell him. You achieve a goal you’ve been working towards, but he’s not on the list of people to party.

When you come home at the end of a long day, the last thing on your mind is him.

And you don’t daydream about him while working on a monotonous task at work.

This level of disinterest is one of the most telling signs that you don’t want to be with him. If it describes your situation, Mr. Right Now is probably not Mr. Right.

3. You don’t tell your family

Sure, some of your friends know about him. After all, you take him to some events when a plus one is welcome. But your family members wouldn’t know him if he were your doctor.

When we’re happy about someone we see, we talk about them—often to an angry degree!

So if you don’t approach him with the people closest to you, it may mean that the relationship is just a stopgap.

4. You don’t care about the result at all

You enjoy that person. Damn, you guys often have a great time together. But you wouldn’t be hurt in the slightest if he found someone else. You would probably wish him well – and mean it!

“Cheating” isn’t an issue either, because you don’t care who he’s sleeping with when you’re not around. Who knows. You two might not even have sex.

However, be careful not to make a mistake. Sometimes we don’t realize we have something wonderful until it’s gone.

5. Don’t get upset about news

How do you feel when you get a text or email from someone you really like? You shine, don’t you? The butterflies get a workout and you try to figure out how best to react.

So if his messages go unanswered for hours or even days, you probably haven’t invested much in the relationship. The situation is likely to be even worse if you’re annoying his texts and messages.

6. You like his money the most

There’s nothing wrong with wanting financial stability. Practically speaking, it is an integral part of life. But if you just like someone’s bank account, ask yourself questions.

Are you prepared to remain emotionally unfulfilled as the relationship moves forward? And not for nothing, but a little “you work” certainly can’t hurt if money is more important to you than anything else.

Mrs side eye do I like him or just the idea of ​​him

So do your best to be as honest with yourself as possible. Because staying with a man for the wrong reasons can catapult you into a miserable life that is difficult to escape from.

7. His enthusiasm makes you nervous

In some cultures, “old wives” advise younger women to date men who “love her more than you love her.” In other words, choose someone who’s into you more than you’re into them.

But we’d argue that staying with someone obsessed with you might not be the right move.

Suppose his enthusiasm for the relationship far exceeds yours, and you constantly worry that he will try to turn up the proverbial volume and make things official.

In such cases, you probably like the idea of ​​him better than he does in real life.

8. There is minimal attraction

At the beginning and end of the day you just aren’t attracted to him.

Everyone else thinks he’s Adonis reincarnated, but to you he’s just “meh”. You might sleep with him sometimes because… it’s necessary… but you don’t fan yourself when he walks into a room.

Granted, not every relationship has to start with deep physical attraction.

But if it’s not growing at all, maybe you’re looking at a dead-on-arrival relationship because you like the idea of ​​him better than him.

9. You see no future

Daydreaming is one of life’s joys. And when you’re dating someone you’re looking forward to, show them often.

But if your current plus one rarely appears in your dreams, or it’s hard to imagine that he’ll be in your life five years from now, he’s probably not someone you should start a serious relationship with.

10. They ignore warning signs

Ignoring warning signs works both ways. Some people do it when they’re head over heels and don’t want to acknowledge possible pitfalls.

We miss her even when we know deep down that the relationship has no future.

You know you’ll never get close enough to have his problems affect your life, so you don’t waste energy getting upset about them.

11. You don’t remember things from his life

People usually spend time improving their verbal skills. We associate intelligence with a large vocabulary, quick-wittedness and fluency in speech.

But what many people forget is that listening is just as important as talking. In addition, the way we listen to a person can indicate our feelings for them.

When we really like someone, we hold on to their every word. We remember what they say.

On the other hand, when we engage with people who mean little to us, we quickly forget what they are saying and rarely remember details of their lives.

If Mr. Plus-One remains a mystery to you even though you vaguely remember him telling you things about his life, it indicates that you are not into him.

If you have to, go out with him for now. But make sure he understands that you don’t see the relationship going anywhere.

More related articles

The 15 Biggest Turn-Offs for Women

9 main differences between love and infatuation

11 firm but friendly tips for breaking up and pulling apart

12. You haven’t solved your own problems

There is no person without problems. We all have them, and they will shape our lives in small ways for the rest of our lives.

At the same time, it’s important to work on the whopper problems—the huge ones that keep you from being the best you possible. They cloud your judgment and change your behavior.

People who let their shadow selves command the ship are not themselves in a way.

These ingrained hiccups play a significant role in the trajectory of your love life. They serve as the BC/AD demarcation line in your life. Life before solving your problems and after.

The men who come into the BC (pre-counseling) part of your life may fall under for now because in your AD (post-deconstruction) phase you will be a different person.

13. You’re still in the apps

If you’re still active on dating apps and dating people, there’s a better-than-average chance you’ll like the idea of ​​the man in question. If you fancy him, you would pause your accounts.

A lot of people find excuses for maintaining profiles after they start dating someone, but they always seem suspicious. The same rule applies to you.

Husband and wife at a party I like him or just the idea of ​​him

Here’s the bottom line: if you’re still active in the apps, you’re still open. And if you’re still available, the person you’re dating right now is probably not the right one for you.

I like him but I don’t want to go out with him, now what?

It’s an undeniable… friendship. You like the guy and you enjoy him, but in a platonic way. What now?

The answer depends on how he feels about you and what the situation is.

If he’s into you a lot more than you’re into him, it’s best to call it quits and try to put him in the friend zone. However, beware that he may “hate” you. If you’re both comfortable with the situation as it is, there’s no need to change for now. You can also tell him exactly how you’re feeling and see where the conversation is going. let him decide

Don’t feel bad if you end up with someone you like. It is normal. We would guess that most people have at least one of these relationships in their lives.

Just don’t let it get too far or be unkind about the breakup. Otherwise, learn from the experience and move on. Good luck out there!

did you ask yourself "do I like him or just the idea of ​​him?" Then maybe you should really think about it.  Look at these 13 signs and answer your question.

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